A critical reflection on my learning journey from start to finish
If I am to reflect on who I am now in relevance to my professional practice and who I was when I started the course, I feel I have made massive leaps and bounds towards understanding more about my professional practice. When I first started the course and wrote my first blog, one student picked it apart so much I had to delete it. I felt vulnerable, on display and under qualified to be taking on this work. I was hesitant to write any blogs after this and kept my learning to myself. Even in my critical reflection in Module 1 I tried to point out all the advantages of learning alone to justify my actions.
I then took a break from studying for personal reasons and I truly believed I didn't want to complete the degree anymore. I put off talking to my tutor and again tried to work everything out by myself. I eventually did talk to my tutor, and I explained I no longer wanted to study. She asked me if this was really the case and if perhaps I just needed a bit more time out before continuing. I must have subconsciously wanted to continue as it did not take much persuasion for me to decide to continue.
During module 2 I tried to engage more with colleagues, peers, tutors and my personal support network to help me gain a more valuable insight by using other people's knowledge as well as my own.
Module 3 I found again really difficult to start - I felt I didn't have enough time or knowledge. A change in staffing in the university and a few issues with student finance had made me really stressed and I went back to my old habit of trying to solve everything on my own.
But again my tutor explained that was the reason they were there - to support us with our projects, and I felt much more at ease once I had explained how I was feeling to her. I was further behind than most others but I felt if I really pushed myself I could get it done properly. And to my surprise that is what I did.
The thing I feel I have been quite unsuccessful in during the entire course is fully engaging with other students on the BAPP course. I have tried at various points and I can keep blaming it on time constraints or the fact I was no longer with the people I started with due to the break so I did not have as many people engaging in my blog, but I think subconciously I know that I just found that part really hard to do. Everyone on the course comes from such excellent backgrounds in the arts, and again I think it was that intial fear of not being good enough that became a barrier for me for this.
A breakthrough point for this has definitely been my conversings with Emily Richards on the BAPP course. She was doing the module below me and perhaps that made me feel more secure as I felt I could help her with Modules 1 and 2 because I had already done them - and I could point out mistakes I made so she did not make them. She also really helped me through sharing her ideas which were similar to my emerging ideas at first and we have had many conversations now via Facebook which have really been beneficial to my inquiry findings.
I think what I have to take from this is the positive - yes it has already happened now and I did not fully engage with the BAPP students on my own module, but I think from talking to Emily I learnt the value of engaging with fellow students who understood the course and work based learning; something my own colleagues were unfamiliar with. I got an empathy from Emily that I did not find anywhere else; we understood each other and what were going through, so it made us even more proactive in helping each other with ideas and conclusions.
I have decided not to be defeated by the lack of engagement, I am now planning on following the degree with a Masters program, and that would be another work based learning course. So although perhaps this time I did not manage it and it may slightly affect the results from my project, this does not matter as much now as I know I can move this experience to create a more positive engagement with people going forward, as now I can truly see what I have missed out on and what I can gain from fully engaging with my fellow students.
I had a similar experience with cutting down my word count. I think it was really important for me as a learner to experience this near the end of the project. I was really happy with the work I had done and did not want to take any out. But I had a talk with my tutor and it reminded me that I am not doing this inquiry to publish a full inquiry, I am doing it to complete my degree program.
I think overall the main thread of my learning journey has been to believe in myself and understand that it is much easier to allow myself that support from my professional networks and community of practice. Not only can they help problem solve and give ideas, but they are how we learn and grow as professional practitioners; we add to our own practices not through lone working, but through the sharing of ideas and observing and listening to others. And every person I meet during my work can help me learn about the kind of teacher I want to be, or the teacher I do not want to become, and both are just as important as each other to help the progression of my professional practice.
I then took a break from studying for personal reasons and I truly believed I didn't want to complete the degree anymore. I put off talking to my tutor and again tried to work everything out by myself. I eventually did talk to my tutor, and I explained I no longer wanted to study. She asked me if this was really the case and if perhaps I just needed a bit more time out before continuing. I must have subconsciously wanted to continue as it did not take much persuasion for me to decide to continue.
During module 2 I tried to engage more with colleagues, peers, tutors and my personal support network to help me gain a more valuable insight by using other people's knowledge as well as my own.
Module 3 I found again really difficult to start - I felt I didn't have enough time or knowledge. A change in staffing in the university and a few issues with student finance had made me really stressed and I went back to my old habit of trying to solve everything on my own.
But again my tutor explained that was the reason they were there - to support us with our projects, and I felt much more at ease once I had explained how I was feeling to her. I was further behind than most others but I felt if I really pushed myself I could get it done properly. And to my surprise that is what I did.
The thing I feel I have been quite unsuccessful in during the entire course is fully engaging with other students on the BAPP course. I have tried at various points and I can keep blaming it on time constraints or the fact I was no longer with the people I started with due to the break so I did not have as many people engaging in my blog, but I think subconciously I know that I just found that part really hard to do. Everyone on the course comes from such excellent backgrounds in the arts, and again I think it was that intial fear of not being good enough that became a barrier for me for this.
A breakthrough point for this has definitely been my conversings with Emily Richards on the BAPP course. She was doing the module below me and perhaps that made me feel more secure as I felt I could help her with Modules 1 and 2 because I had already done them - and I could point out mistakes I made so she did not make them. She also really helped me through sharing her ideas which were similar to my emerging ideas at first and we have had many conversations now via Facebook which have really been beneficial to my inquiry findings.
I think what I have to take from this is the positive - yes it has already happened now and I did not fully engage with the BAPP students on my own module, but I think from talking to Emily I learnt the value of engaging with fellow students who understood the course and work based learning; something my own colleagues were unfamiliar with. I got an empathy from Emily that I did not find anywhere else; we understood each other and what were going through, so it made us even more proactive in helping each other with ideas and conclusions.
I have decided not to be defeated by the lack of engagement, I am now planning on following the degree with a Masters program, and that would be another work based learning course. So although perhaps this time I did not manage it and it may slightly affect the results from my project, this does not matter as much now as I know I can move this experience to create a more positive engagement with people going forward, as now I can truly see what I have missed out on and what I can gain from fully engaging with my fellow students.
I had a similar experience with cutting down my word count. I think it was really important for me as a learner to experience this near the end of the project. I was really happy with the work I had done and did not want to take any out. But I had a talk with my tutor and it reminded me that I am not doing this inquiry to publish a full inquiry, I am doing it to complete my degree program.
I think overall the main thread of my learning journey has been to believe in myself and understand that it is much easier to allow myself that support from my professional networks and community of practice. Not only can they help problem solve and give ideas, but they are how we learn and grow as professional practitioners; we add to our own practices not through lone working, but through the sharing of ideas and observing and listening to others. And every person I meet during my work can help me learn about the kind of teacher I want to be, or the teacher I do not want to become, and both are just as important as each other to help the progression of my professional practice.
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